I don't know how to use a sword

“Come in, exalted Immortal,” he said, taking Sun Wukong into the palace where they introduced themselves, seated him in the place of honour, and offered him tea. Then the Dragon King asked him, “Exalted Immortal, when did you find the Way, and what magic arts did you acquire?”

“After my birth,” said Sun Wukong, “I renounced the world and cultivated my conduct, and thus obtained an immortal and indestructible body. Recently I have trained my sons and grandsons to guard our cave, but unfortunately I have not yet found my self a weapon. I have long heard that my illustrious enjoys the delights of a jade palace with gate-towers of cowry, and I was sure that you must have some magic weapons to spare, so I have come especially to beg one of you.”

Not wishing to refuse this request, the Dragon King sent Commander Perch to fetch a large sword and offer it to Sun Wukong.“I don't know how to use a sword,” said Sun Wukong, “so could I ask you to give me something else?” The Old Dragon King then sent Colonel Mackerel and Guard Commander Eel to fetch a nine-pronged spear.

Sun Wukong leapt down from his seat, took it, tried it out, then flung it down, saying, “It's too light, far too light; and it doesn't suit me. I beg you to give me another.”

The Dragon King smiled as he said, “Exalted Immortal, don't you see that this weighs three thousand six hundred pounds?”“It doesn't suit me, it doesn't suit me at all,” protested Sun Wukong.

The Dragon King, feeling frightened now, ordered Provincial Commander Bream and Garrison Commander Carp to bring out a patterned heavenly halberd for warding off spells that weighed seven thousand two hundred pounds.

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